I had a pretty good experience at a nudie bar recently near where I live, the one that's located in the non-southern capital of Peru? I gather Audrey Hepburn and George Peppard used to enjoy having their morning meal there. A dancer and I, while enjoying a private session, came to a meeting of the minds such that we could eliminate the middle man, as it were, and enjoy some intermurals. You know, and that worked, is what I'm saying.

Well, so I was thinking...the same sort of thing might work at one of the Warren massage parlors. You know, the one with the twins? The staff is very handy and the place never gets full? The girls hardly ever even mouth off to you. I was thinking, if I liked a provider, as a session was winding down, I'd give her the number to a prepaid, and she could call me if she, you know, wanted to go to the malt shop and have a soda, but I thought I'd ask the usual gang of pre-verts what they thought.

Note: the preceding message does not in any way whatsoever describe any actual person, places, or events, and is wholly imaginary. The author of said piece is a pathological liar, and given to wild exaggerations, flights of fancy, and the occasional hallucinations. In fact, he doesn't exist at all.

Also, if you throw around words like "mama-san" and allude to feeding and housing the ladies, well, you're not quite hearing what I'm getting at.

You went on USASG and said you would check out the BP girls, so who do you suggest?

My value meals have been outstanding.

I haven't been to VIP lately.

Why don't you try some of the Asian BP escorts that come into town then?

The one who was listed a month or so ago...Yumi? I think it was? if you TER that # you'll see she's not at all the girl in the picture. The other ad listed is for the 76 spa, and, uh...no thank you.

Moreover, if you're using a word like "Asian," well...after my none-too-subtle hints in my post as to where I was talking about (you know, since I assume the people who run these places read these boards)...I tell you what, Sky, its a good thing for the people of Gotham City you're not in charge of solving the Riddler's fiendishly clever clues.

A guy recently posted on USASG that he took Nana from Sun spa to his home and had a 3 course meal.

It was last year when she went by Yudi or Ullie. The post was made by Low Key on 2-20-11 post# 3005 Warren massage board.

So it turns out my girl from the nudie bar is on heroin, or at least that's what another girl I know who works there says. I wonder if I can get my money back, then.

Or, maybe she could get me some. I might graduate from the ladies to the lady.

Was that your mom that told everybody her spa was closed because of water or plumbing concerns last year when in fact we all know the real reason they were closed. Spa workers don't lie, right rocket boy.

You were dating someone giving you intel from both spas. What are you , some kind of detective or is that your alter ego?