As a fellow Hobbist Ive been wondering why do we do this. Over the past few years I've watched myself spending money like it grew on a tree in my back yard on Massages and Escort Services. I've tried to add up the amount I've spent, but the numbers get so high it frightens me. What are we searching for? Are we so lonely that we go to these girls looking for happiness? It seems to me as soon as I leave, I feel even more empty. Do we let lust destory and take place of love? Is it so easy to call a escort or go get a massage with that Happy Ending, that makes us afraid to search for a real relationship? I'm not judging anyone, and I'm not preaching. I'm just trying to understand. Most of the girls that I visit with are young enough to be my daughter. Does that make me a pervert? I think this middle age crisis thing really hits us hard, or at least me it does. Am I trying to hang on to my youth by seeing these young girls? This is just like any addiction it always leaves us wanting more. Never satisfying us for long. I met this one young lady for a massage, she was great. She seemed different from the rest. I felt the time I spent with her was something special. I made the mistake and started to care about her. We started seeing each other away from her work. Even went out to eat a few times. I would run anytime she needed anything, to help her. Then I started to notice she wasn't really into me, it was the things I was doing to help her out. These girls really don't care about us. It's the money and the things they can get from us that they care about. Well thats life. Will I ever break this addiction? Wish I had a answer. Only time will tell.
