"AMPhunter"...I was going to post that, too...Legit massage only.
A couple of years ago I was in a nearby city (near my hometown) saw a "Massage Envy" sign, and thought "Oh, boy!"...So I parked nearby.
As I started to get out of my Jeep a guy was walking up to the car next to me and said "Save yer money, they don't jack ya off, they actually give you a massage...Who the hell wants a massage?"
Do us mongers have a certain "look" about us? The closest thing I could think of would be the erection in our pants...and maybe the slobber on our lips, thinking of what is to come.